March - April 2022

Update -- I wrote this in April, but never posted it due to the political analysis included. Much of this is still relevant, but seems weird to update as my perspectives have evolved since then, and retaining the record of my historical perspectives seem useful.

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So, I have been slow to continue to write. Life has been complicated for me.

I am going to go over a few points: 

Story status -- I don't know. I have a redo of the first chapter ready, but part of the problem is that I haven't been interested in drawing for the past few years. This is normal for me. I tend to phase in and out my drawing interest. When I went back over all the comments I have had from my work, both the drafts and the original prologue, I had noticed that my style requires images to work properly. I hate describing verbally a physical situation, so I need the images for the correct level of immersion. I am sorry I have been so slow, while still not wanting to declare that I am done with this project. I don't know. I like my stories, I am just bad at it. I can publish the text of a draft / outline of a story I have which I don't like so much for complicated reasons but shows certain themes I wish to show. I may decide to do that, or edit that draft some to add more such themes. 

Personal status -- I was in Russia from October to the beginning of March and am planning on returning in May.

Thoughts of current affairs -- I don't know how much I want to tell in this regard, mostly because I don't think people will understand. If I thought I could explain my position in a way people would accept it, I would.

Here is a good video I found of people explaining the situation. Here is an article.

  * What exactly is your position? 

To put it briefly, I believe all people and animals have the fundamental right to self defence. Yes, this includes Donbass (against Ukraine), Russia (against the US and NATO), and Ukraine (against Russia). I will not go further into this besides to note that this is an unusual viewpoint in the modern world, where people tend to value either allowing aggression (as long as it is their own) or complete pacifism.

When I saw Putin announce the recognition of Donbass, I knew right then that the West was going to completely ignore the 30 year advance of NATO, the US dropping out of all Soviet-era arms control treaties, the continual increasing sanctions already put on Russia, including wanting to cut Russia off from SWIFT over the Nord Stream 2 project, the 8 year civil war in Ukraine, the attempts of Putin to resolve Maiden, the civil war, and his concerns with NATO diplomatically, the nationalistic violence and rise to prominence of the Ukrainian nationalists post-Maiden, the anti-Maiden protests which were put down violently, which combined with the pogroms led to the civil war, the fact that Zelensky was elected on a pro-peace, pro-Minsk agreement platform, etc. and call Putin the aggressor. 

I can't really describe what it feels like when I see someone under assault and having everyone else act as if they are the bad guy when they decide to defend themselves, but it makes me feel powerless, helpless, vulnerable. Especially when attempts are made to resolve the issue without resorting to violence first. If you combine this with the fact that the government which claims to represent me (the US) effectively declared war on my people (which is Russia in this case), the whole situation is very traumatising for me. I know the sanctions, Russia-phobia, censorship, etc. have been going on for a while, but it doesn't make it better. The forcible separation of Russia and Ukraine as well as Russia from Europe amplifies the situation, especially for someone who has been in contact with both Russians and Ukrainians while studying Russian.

I know, war is terrible. Russia tried to resolve these issues diplomatically for 7/8/15 years and got nowhere. Well, they got somewhere -- they had more sanctions placed on them, more people dying in Donbass or fleeing the region, more NATO weapons in Ukraine. When they took action in Crimea (or more recently Kazakhstan) they prevented the violence and resolved the issues, which probably partially explains why they decided to switch tactics. 

And yes, all the sanctions and pressure on Russia has had the opposite of the (supposedly) intended effect -- increasing rather than decreasing their likelihood to resort to violence, increasing Putin's popularity, increasing support for nationalism and for authoritarian measures. But the US accepts nothing less than total submission.

However, I am actually against Russia entering Ukraine because I view it as a US trap, especially considering how close the date is to when the US said it would be, and you should never invade a country on the request of an enemy (even if this was what you were planning on doing, as you can just change your plans). Here is an article on this concept. Russia was supposed to invade on the 16th of February, violence against Donbass picked up on the 17th. The civilians were evacuated from Donbass into Russia. After Duma declared Donetsk and Luansk independent, Putin took several hours to make the decision to accept or reject it. 

If it were not for the US trap thing, would I be for or against this war? Well, the second unease in this is the fact that I doubt it will work, as the US does this type of thing all the time and it always fails. I know the Russian people don't have so much experience with "humanitarian intervention," but as an American I understand and am quite uneasy, even when I know that in this case, the threats are quite real, and well documented, and not at all imagined. Besides, even if it did work, it would be at great cost of human life, something which you are trying to prevent, and the divides within the country would become worse rather than better.

 * Where do I get my information? 

The American and other Western dissidents. Many of them use Western diplomats, military advisors, etc, as a source for information and analysis, as the links I provided do. Often they will cite people who are part of the Western government as part of their analysis. Yes, I use Russian sources, but I don't actually trust them until I have confirmation from Western investigative journalists. I bring this up because in the US anything which contradicts Western sources is referred to as Russian disinformation and I want to remind people that there is more than just the US vs Russia.

[Here are a few of the journalists who resisted Russia-gate: The Grayzone which is Max Blumenthal, Anya Parampil, Ben Norton, and Aaron Maté, if you recognise any of the names, Glenn Greenwald. I believe Mint Press News also has anti-imperialist coverage based on complex in-depth analysis and getting to the root of the issues. Consortium News is another I have seen others use. You don't need to agree with everything they write, but here is an opportunity to get alternative perspectives to what is going on outside of the American propaganda. They don't do headlines or daily updates, however, just interviews and investigative reports.

It would take me a while to find them all and give a good analysis whether or not I trust all of them, but this is a place to start.]

* Why do you still side with Russia? 

First, I am not sure that I do, or at least not completely. Second, most of the arguments I hear supporting the "Chinese" / "Russian" / anti-imperialist positions on what is going on in this situation rely on history, facts, evidence, due process, and equality of peoples, while the American / European / "Ukrainian" positions rely on emotional appeals, accusations, fear, arrogance, ideology, racism and exclusivity. This is, of course, why Russia is loosing the propaganda war. Third, I still view Russia as my country and the Russians as my people, and don't want to see them destroyed or subjugated to the US (again).

Besides, Americans who don't support all the US wars would never put up with what the West is doing to Russia, whether it is putting US weapons on the Russian border (see the Cuban Missile Crisis), encouraging anti-Russian thought within neighbouring countries (with discrimination against their Russian population and support for Nazi brigades), fostering and supporting dissent within Russia (which is what the Russia-gate conspiracy theory was about), stealing the national wealth of Russia and wealthy individuals (the second point Russians don't care about, but America and many Americans hate), characterising Russians as inherently evil, attempting to cut Russia off from the global economy, denying or re-writing Russian culture (including their victory over the Nazis with great cost to them), preventing Russian athletes from participating in international sports, etc.

 * Why do you want to leave the West? 

I oppose the US on two points. 

The first is not political at all. I have always felt uncomfortable in American culture and society. When I realised there are alternatives that make me feel more comfortable, I started to seek them out. Russian culture is what made me comfortable.

The second involves American imperialism. Look, various people have various views on various topics for their own reasons, and I will never agree on everything, but the US has somehow convinced their people and many others in the rest of the world that they are somehow superior. I freed myself from the ideology involved in constructing this conception and don't want it forced on me again. Even if Russia were as propaganda-prone as the US, (an argument which I don't even want to get into due to the complexity of the situation,) it is irrelevant if I can talk to people and not feel forced into an ideology I broke free from.

 * Why Russia? Have you looked into other countries?

I would like to point out that once I form a connection, I am not going to discard it because it is "politically expedient." I want to live my life and be a person, not just do things so that I will be "safe." I want to be who I am, not who you think I should be. 

Besides, as far as I can tell, Russians are Asian in just the right way for me while still being European in all the important ways. There are more complications to this, but I know it is a good fit culturally, whatever their current government and whatever my differences in thought.

And yes, I have looked into other countries. And there others which are comfortable for me, but I don't have quite the same emotional bond. With Russia, I can be comfortable even when the system sucks or the country is under attack, and I want to learn the language and history, which is a level of bond beyond just "comfortable."