Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
The first goddess was Athena, or Minerva by her Roman name. As a goddess of wisdom, she resided at a university, in this case at one of the plazas. She transformed from a bird, evoking the imagery of an angel while remaining true to her original conception.
“Greetings, my child. You know who I am. Sit down besides me. We have much to discuss.” She indicated towards one of the benches, sitting down and placing her spear and shield on the opposite side of her from me.
I sat down next to her. “You aren't my mother.”
“It is an expression. You know this.”
“That isn't what I mean. You are a virgin. I am a virgin. Not all women are mothers, and this is important. Being a mother isn't the only role for a woman and isn't a role for all women. Being female means being more connected, and while for many this may mean raising families, for others it may mean other things. Like fighting to defend oneself and one's society. Or studying, learning and teaching. Or developing art, expressing concepts and explaining complexities in intricate ways. Or even just finding creative ways to do what one must. Besides the divisions between genders aren't sharp.”
“You are my child in the sense that I am your mentor and symbolize you personality archetype. I know you have often felt lost. I am here to ensure that you retain a guide in your coming journey, one true to who you are.” She indicated the other goddess, which I had followed before. “This woman will serve as my avatar. She will help guide you in your dreams.” The avatar was nondescript, a shadow in the typical dream form, representing a person rather than being one.
“I have a gift for you.” Athena held up a pendent. “This artifact holds great power.” She put the pendent around my neck and over my heart. “It will unlock your power and your access to this gateway.”
I was back in the clearing, alone, before I wandered into the next scene.
A story of an American woman who finds herself in the past in Siberia. Picture book format, currently updating twice a month. View the story posts in chronological order with the archive tab.
30 March 2018
21 March 2018
Initial Arrival 16
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Later, after recovering some, Jennifer picked up a sheet of paper and a pencil and tried to record her thoughts. As she expected, she couldn't put any of her thoughts on paper, and instead drew random shapes on the page.
Her thoughts returned to her dream. She began to map this out, starting with simple shapes and notes, from the beginning. The goddess came to me in my childhood house and took me to the clearing. My imagination was taken out of some of my typical constrains.
She continued her thoughts to the clearing, focusing on the clearing in her dream. She told me to look, imagine and perceive the other planes of existence connected to our own at the clearing. The goddess then became three different people, each in their own alternative surroundings, different from but co-located with the clearing. She drew out and wrote out each of these encounters.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Later, after recovering some, Jennifer picked up a sheet of paper and a pencil and tried to record her thoughts. As she expected, she couldn't put any of her thoughts on paper, and instead drew random shapes on the page.
Her thoughts returned to her dream. She began to map this out, starting with simple shapes and notes, from the beginning. The goddess came to me in my childhood house and took me to the clearing. My imagination was taken out of some of my typical constrains.
She continued her thoughts to the clearing, focusing on the clearing in her dream. She told me to look, imagine and perceive the other planes of existence connected to our own at the clearing. The goddess then became three different people, each in their own alternative surroundings, different from but co-located with the clearing. She drew out and wrote out each of these encounters.
17 March 2018
Initial Arrival 15
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan eventually decided to take the opportunity to directly address a concern. “It would be inadvisable to try to leave. If the guards don't stop you, you will probably freeze in the cold.”
The suggestion, however, shocked Jennifer, as this wasn't even a possibility she had considered. She turned around abruptly before responding, looking very confused. “Huh?”
“You aren't planning on running away?”
“What? Why would I run? I have nowhere to go. I don't speak the language, and even if I did, my accent would be obvious. Here there is food and shelter. … And, you haven't yet sent me to prison, or tried to physically restrain me, chemically restrain me, or harass me to get the information I want. You let me take my time to tell you what is appropriate. If I tried to escape, this would change and my situation would only get worse.”
“Chemically restrain?”
“Using drugs to make someone tired or submissive.”
They started to walk again. Soon after, however, Jennifer decided to voice her thoughts. “It is fine if you need to send me back to the US. I don't know if I would be able to survive, and I doubt I would be able to be fully human, but I understand if you don't want me and that I am not the only person whose needs matter.”
“I don't understand. If you are here seeking asylum, why would you be sent back?”
“The US will frequently deport many people, people from migrant waves, even if their lives would be in danger if they returned home.” Jennifer paused before continuing. “Besides, it isn't like that.” She continued, more distant and noticeably struggling to find the words. “Or, at least I don't think it is like that. It is just, well, everything is wrong. My morality, definition of freedom, needs, conceptions, even my sense of identity, … it feels like I am forced into this culture, told it is the best or only option. Like I am someone, and am told to be someone else.” Jennifer was crying by the end and was unable to continue.
“Do you want to go back to your bed?”
Unable to speak, Jennifer nodded in response.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan eventually decided to take the opportunity to directly address a concern. “It would be inadvisable to try to leave. If the guards don't stop you, you will probably freeze in the cold.”
The suggestion, however, shocked Jennifer, as this wasn't even a possibility she had considered. She turned around abruptly before responding, looking very confused. “Huh?”
“You aren't planning on running away?”
“What? Why would I run? I have nowhere to go. I don't speak the language, and even if I did, my accent would be obvious. Here there is food and shelter. … And, you haven't yet sent me to prison, or tried to physically restrain me, chemically restrain me, or harass me to get the information I want. You let me take my time to tell you what is appropriate. If I tried to escape, this would change and my situation would only get worse.”
“Chemically restrain?”
“Using drugs to make someone tired or submissive.”
They started to walk again. Soon after, however, Jennifer decided to voice her thoughts. “It is fine if you need to send me back to the US. I don't know if I would be able to survive, and I doubt I would be able to be fully human, but I understand if you don't want me and that I am not the only person whose needs matter.”
“I don't understand. If you are here seeking asylum, why would you be sent back?”
“The US will frequently deport many people, people from migrant waves, even if their lives would be in danger if they returned home.” Jennifer paused before continuing. “Besides, it isn't like that.” She continued, more distant and noticeably struggling to find the words. “Or, at least I don't think it is like that. It is just, well, everything is wrong. My morality, definition of freedom, needs, conceptions, even my sense of identity, … it feels like I am forced into this culture, told it is the best or only option. Like I am someone, and am told to be someone else.” Jennifer was crying by the end and was unable to continue.
“Do you want to go back to your bed?”
Unable to speak, Jennifer nodded in response.
13 March 2018
Initial Arrival 14
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan came back sometime after Jennifer was done eating. Still standing, he asked, “You wanted to go for a walk?”
“Yes.” Jennifer got up. “I have no idea where to go, where I am allowed to go, and I don't want to get in the way. It is probably best if you lead.”
“Wait, do you want me in front?”
“Huh? No, I think it is side by side, without physical contact. I think that is how people normally walk together, unless it is too narrow. You can go behind then, if this is necessary.”
They left the room and walked a bit down a corridor before Jennifer walked over to a window and stared outside.
“We can't go outside.”
Jennifer responded casually and somewhat distantly, turning only slightly to look at Ivan. “I am just watching the snow.”
“It does snow here in September. It is something which we learn to accept.”
When Jennifer continued to speak, she wasn't looking at him at all, and was instead distant and deep in thought. “When I was young I used to like to play in the snow. My brother and I used to build snow forts, trails, and hills for sledding. … I wanted to go to Alaska, with the snow and the wolves, but my parents always planned vacations somewhere warm.”
“Here you can't do that. It will get too cold and too dangerous to be outside for long.”
Jennifer turned to face Ivan when he spoke, but not looking at him when she responded. Her voice was still distant. “I almost froze to death.”
“Yes.”
“How did you even find us? … You knew he was there, didn't you? If I hadn't found him, I would have died in the forest.”
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan came back sometime after Jennifer was done eating. Still standing, he asked, “You wanted to go for a walk?”
“Yes.” Jennifer got up. “I have no idea where to go, where I am allowed to go, and I don't want to get in the way. It is probably best if you lead.”
“Wait, do you want me in front?”
“Huh? No, I think it is side by side, without physical contact. I think that is how people normally walk together, unless it is too narrow. You can go behind then, if this is necessary.”
They left the room and walked a bit down a corridor before Jennifer walked over to a window and stared outside.
“We can't go outside.”
Jennifer responded casually and somewhat distantly, turning only slightly to look at Ivan. “I am just watching the snow.”
“It does snow here in September. It is something which we learn to accept.”
When Jennifer continued to speak, she wasn't looking at him at all, and was instead distant and deep in thought. “When I was young I used to like to play in the snow. My brother and I used to build snow forts, trails, and hills for sledding. … I wanted to go to Alaska, with the snow and the wolves, but my parents always planned vacations somewhere warm.”
“Here you can't do that. It will get too cold and too dangerous to be outside for long.”
Jennifer turned to face Ivan when he spoke, but not looking at him when she responded. Her voice was still distant. “I almost froze to death.”
“Yes.”
“How did you even find us? … You knew he was there, didn't you? If I hadn't found him, I would have died in the forest.”
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