Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Her mind focusing back to the clearing, Jennifer started to map and sketch out what she remembered there, both from the dream and from the previous day. She drew what she remembered of the details of the three figures in their homes. She drew the wolf, the goddess, and the pendent. And she drew a map of the events of the previous day. She constantly struggled with the limits in details she remembered, creating her own details for some aspects, while retaining notes and imprecise drawings for others. As the day continued, she switched from the latter technique to the former, constructing new sketches and detailed drawings of the figures from her dreams.
Her whole afternoon, however, didn't completely consist of drawing and writing. She would often stop and just think. And many of the drawings remained incomplete at the end of the day.
A story of an American woman who finds herself in the past in Siberia. Picture book format, currently updating twice a month. View the story posts in chronological order with the archive tab.
19 May 2018
22 April 2018
Initial Arrival 19
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
I came to a hut in the forest. The hut was standing on large chicken legs and surrounded by skulls. A woman flew down in a large bowl or cup, using a large club as a rudder. The design was meant to be reminiscent of a mortar and pedestal. She was old and skinny, with a large nose. Her name was Baba Yaga.
She spoke to me. “Did you come seek me out of your own will, or were you told to come?”
“I don't know. I think it was recommended to me that I come, but not required. And I wasn't told what I would find, only to explore. I don't know of you and didn't come for you.”
“You never can give an either / or answer, can you?”
“If the assumptions which lead to the choices offered were valid, the criticism would make sense. But like many cases, false assumptions are made. In this case, it was assumed that I knew what I sought, that it was either my own conscious desire or the will of another rather than instinct or nature, and to some extent, the existence of free will.”
“Your insight is valid.” She paused, looking at me. “But you are displeased by my physical appearance.”
“It is just, well, you resemble the stereotypical witch, designed to denigrate women and traditional pagan society and especially female knowledge by a patriarchal, Christian elite. … To construct a villain, to destroy fluid thinking, complexity, uncertainty. To make people submissive and obedient.”
“This from the one who often imagines herself as an angel?” I appeared before her with wings in a white dress. “Like nature often is, I may not be nice, and I am often cruel, but I am not the villain of your story.”
She continued to speak, but her tone changed. “You seek to regain your will, your identity, your soul. I will help you, but know that the path won't be easy. Like many, your desires are often mixed with your fears. You will be asked to do many things which you may not understand. And you shall take the form of those whom you had been told are your enemy.” As she said this, my appearance changed, taking the form of a soldier.
“For now I will ask you to do something with which you often struggle. Take this pendent and take the time to rest.” She handed me the pendent. “You will need this if you are to accomplish what will be requested of you.”
As we were leaving each other, I responded with an unrelated question. “Why didn't you take me into your house?”
“Because I don't wish for you to stink up my house with your Russian scent.”
Then I was back in the clearing. There was a wolf and the avatar, but I didn't have the pendent. I think … it no longer existed in its original form.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
I came to a hut in the forest. The hut was standing on large chicken legs and surrounded by skulls. A woman flew down in a large bowl or cup, using a large club as a rudder. The design was meant to be reminiscent of a mortar and pedestal. She was old and skinny, with a large nose. Her name was Baba Yaga.
She spoke to me. “Did you come seek me out of your own will, or were you told to come?”
“I don't know. I think it was recommended to me that I come, but not required. And I wasn't told what I would find, only to explore. I don't know of you and didn't come for you.”
“You never can give an either / or answer, can you?”
“If the assumptions which lead to the choices offered were valid, the criticism would make sense. But like many cases, false assumptions are made. In this case, it was assumed that I knew what I sought, that it was either my own conscious desire or the will of another rather than instinct or nature, and to some extent, the existence of free will.”
“Your insight is valid.” She paused, looking at me. “But you are displeased by my physical appearance.”
“It is just, well, you resemble the stereotypical witch, designed to denigrate women and traditional pagan society and especially female knowledge by a patriarchal, Christian elite. … To construct a villain, to destroy fluid thinking, complexity, uncertainty. To make people submissive and obedient.”
“This from the one who often imagines herself as an angel?” I appeared before her with wings in a white dress. “Like nature often is, I may not be nice, and I am often cruel, but I am not the villain of your story.”
She continued to speak, but her tone changed. “You seek to regain your will, your identity, your soul. I will help you, but know that the path won't be easy. Like many, your desires are often mixed with your fears. You will be asked to do many things which you may not understand. And you shall take the form of those whom you had been told are your enemy.” As she said this, my appearance changed, taking the form of a soldier.
“For now I will ask you to do something with which you often struggle. Take this pendent and take the time to rest.” She handed me the pendent. “You will need this if you are to accomplish what will be requested of you.”
As we were leaving each other, I responded with an unrelated question. “Why didn't you take me into your house?”
“Because I don't wish for you to stink up my house with your Russian scent.”
Then I was back in the clearing. There was a wolf and the avatar, but I didn't have the pendent. I think … it no longer existed in its original form.
14 April 2018
Initial Arrival 18
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
I was in the form of a wolf as I wandered around and found a great tree, the Tree of Life. Here it had the name Aal Luuk Mas. I think. It was strange, but I guess dreams are like that. I could feel the tree radiated with the essence of life, and every memory I have had of being in nature and being close to nature came to mind.
I approached the tree and retook human form, although I was still dressed as a wolf. A goddess emerged from the tree. She had large breasts and long hair. She was a Mother Earth figure, but gave her name as An Alay Khotun. Maybe. Again, dreams are strange.
“This isn't a name with which I am familiar.”
“That doesn't matter. Different peoples have different names and conceptions. Here I have one name and role, elsewhere I have another. You know this.”
“I can sense the clearing here. Is this place coexistent?”
“I did call you to the clearing, and through there, here. … This isn't the clearing, but you are connected to that place. And the people who call that region their home, they shape what you see here.”
She continued, “Look, I know why you are here. You have chosen a difficult path. You prefer to take the path given to you by the spirits rather than the one presented by your upbringing. I have provided many heroes before you with help on their journeys. And yours won't be an easy one.”
“I am not a hero. I am just a girl.”
“You aren't undeserving. … Here.” She pulled up a pendent, the pendent, from the water under the roots of the tree. I took it. “This will take you where you need to go.”
I was back in the clearing again, but only temporarily.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
I was in the form of a wolf as I wandered around and found a great tree, the Tree of Life. Here it had the name Aal Luuk Mas. I think. It was strange, but I guess dreams are like that. I could feel the tree radiated with the essence of life, and every memory I have had of being in nature and being close to nature came to mind.
I approached the tree and retook human form, although I was still dressed as a wolf. A goddess emerged from the tree. She had large breasts and long hair. She was a Mother Earth figure, but gave her name as An Alay Khotun. Maybe. Again, dreams are strange.
“This isn't a name with which I am familiar.”
“That doesn't matter. Different peoples have different names and conceptions. Here I have one name and role, elsewhere I have another. You know this.”
“I can sense the clearing here. Is this place coexistent?”
“I did call you to the clearing, and through there, here. … This isn't the clearing, but you are connected to that place. And the people who call that region their home, they shape what you see here.”
She continued, “Look, I know why you are here. You have chosen a difficult path. You prefer to take the path given to you by the spirits rather than the one presented by your upbringing. I have provided many heroes before you with help on their journeys. And yours won't be an easy one.”
“I am not a hero. I am just a girl.”
“You aren't undeserving. … Here.” She pulled up a pendent, the pendent, from the water under the roots of the tree. I took it. “This will take you where you need to go.”
I was back in the clearing again, but only temporarily.
30 March 2018
Initial Arrival 17
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
The first goddess was Athena, or Minerva by her Roman name. As a goddess of wisdom, she resided at a university, in this case at one of the plazas. She transformed from a bird, evoking the imagery of an angel while remaining true to her original conception.
“Greetings, my child. You know who I am. Sit down besides me. We have much to discuss.” She indicated towards one of the benches, sitting down and placing her spear and shield on the opposite side of her from me.
I sat down next to her. “You aren't my mother.”
“It is an expression. You know this.”
“That isn't what I mean. You are a virgin. I am a virgin. Not all women are mothers, and this is important. Being a mother isn't the only role for a woman and isn't a role for all women. Being female means being more connected, and while for many this may mean raising families, for others it may mean other things. Like fighting to defend oneself and one's society. Or studying, learning and teaching. Or developing art, expressing concepts and explaining complexities in intricate ways. Or even just finding creative ways to do what one must. Besides the divisions between genders aren't sharp.”
“You are my child in the sense that I am your mentor and symbolize you personality archetype. I know you have often felt lost. I am here to ensure that you retain a guide in your coming journey, one true to who you are.” She indicated the other goddess, which I had followed before. “This woman will serve as my avatar. She will help guide you in your dreams.” The avatar was nondescript, a shadow in the typical dream form, representing a person rather than being one.
“I have a gift for you.” Athena held up a pendent. “This artifact holds great power.” She put the pendent around my neck and over my heart. “It will unlock your power and your access to this gateway.”
I was back in the clearing, alone, before I wandered into the next scene.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
The first goddess was Athena, or Minerva by her Roman name. As a goddess of wisdom, she resided at a university, in this case at one of the plazas. She transformed from a bird, evoking the imagery of an angel while remaining true to her original conception.
“Greetings, my child. You know who I am. Sit down besides me. We have much to discuss.” She indicated towards one of the benches, sitting down and placing her spear and shield on the opposite side of her from me.
I sat down next to her. “You aren't my mother.”
“It is an expression. You know this.”
“That isn't what I mean. You are a virgin. I am a virgin. Not all women are mothers, and this is important. Being a mother isn't the only role for a woman and isn't a role for all women. Being female means being more connected, and while for many this may mean raising families, for others it may mean other things. Like fighting to defend oneself and one's society. Or studying, learning and teaching. Or developing art, expressing concepts and explaining complexities in intricate ways. Or even just finding creative ways to do what one must. Besides the divisions between genders aren't sharp.”
“You are my child in the sense that I am your mentor and symbolize you personality archetype. I know you have often felt lost. I am here to ensure that you retain a guide in your coming journey, one true to who you are.” She indicated the other goddess, which I had followed before. “This woman will serve as my avatar. She will help guide you in your dreams.” The avatar was nondescript, a shadow in the typical dream form, representing a person rather than being one.
“I have a gift for you.” Athena held up a pendent. “This artifact holds great power.” She put the pendent around my neck and over my heart. “It will unlock your power and your access to this gateway.”
I was back in the clearing, alone, before I wandered into the next scene.
21 March 2018
Initial Arrival 16
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Later, after recovering some, Jennifer picked up a sheet of paper and a pencil and tried to record her thoughts. As she expected, she couldn't put any of her thoughts on paper, and instead drew random shapes on the page.
Her thoughts returned to her dream. She began to map this out, starting with simple shapes and notes, from the beginning. The goddess came to me in my childhood house and took me to the clearing. My imagination was taken out of some of my typical constrains.
She continued her thoughts to the clearing, focusing on the clearing in her dream. She told me to look, imagine and perceive the other planes of existence connected to our own at the clearing. The goddess then became three different people, each in their own alternative surroundings, different from but co-located with the clearing. She drew out and wrote out each of these encounters.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Later, after recovering some, Jennifer picked up a sheet of paper and a pencil and tried to record her thoughts. As she expected, she couldn't put any of her thoughts on paper, and instead drew random shapes on the page.
Her thoughts returned to her dream. She began to map this out, starting with simple shapes and notes, from the beginning. The goddess came to me in my childhood house and took me to the clearing. My imagination was taken out of some of my typical constrains.
She continued her thoughts to the clearing, focusing on the clearing in her dream. She told me to look, imagine and perceive the other planes of existence connected to our own at the clearing. The goddess then became three different people, each in their own alternative surroundings, different from but co-located with the clearing. She drew out and wrote out each of these encounters.
17 March 2018
Initial Arrival 15
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan eventually decided to take the opportunity to directly address a concern. “It would be inadvisable to try to leave. If the guards don't stop you, you will probably freeze in the cold.”
The suggestion, however, shocked Jennifer, as this wasn't even a possibility she had considered. She turned around abruptly before responding, looking very confused. “Huh?”
“You aren't planning on running away?”
“What? Why would I run? I have nowhere to go. I don't speak the language, and even if I did, my accent would be obvious. Here there is food and shelter. … And, you haven't yet sent me to prison, or tried to physically restrain me, chemically restrain me, or harass me to get the information I want. You let me take my time to tell you what is appropriate. If I tried to escape, this would change and my situation would only get worse.”
“Chemically restrain?”
“Using drugs to make someone tired or submissive.”
They started to walk again. Soon after, however, Jennifer decided to voice her thoughts. “It is fine if you need to send me back to the US. I don't know if I would be able to survive, and I doubt I would be able to be fully human, but I understand if you don't want me and that I am not the only person whose needs matter.”
“I don't understand. If you are here seeking asylum, why would you be sent back?”
“The US will frequently deport many people, people from migrant waves, even if their lives would be in danger if they returned home.” Jennifer paused before continuing. “Besides, it isn't like that.” She continued, more distant and noticeably struggling to find the words. “Or, at least I don't think it is like that. It is just, well, everything is wrong. My morality, definition of freedom, needs, conceptions, even my sense of identity, … it feels like I am forced into this culture, told it is the best or only option. Like I am someone, and am told to be someone else.” Jennifer was crying by the end and was unable to continue.
“Do you want to go back to your bed?”
Unable to speak, Jennifer nodded in response.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan eventually decided to take the opportunity to directly address a concern. “It would be inadvisable to try to leave. If the guards don't stop you, you will probably freeze in the cold.”
The suggestion, however, shocked Jennifer, as this wasn't even a possibility she had considered. She turned around abruptly before responding, looking very confused. “Huh?”
“You aren't planning on running away?”
“What? Why would I run? I have nowhere to go. I don't speak the language, and even if I did, my accent would be obvious. Here there is food and shelter. … And, you haven't yet sent me to prison, or tried to physically restrain me, chemically restrain me, or harass me to get the information I want. You let me take my time to tell you what is appropriate. If I tried to escape, this would change and my situation would only get worse.”
“Chemically restrain?”
“Using drugs to make someone tired or submissive.”
They started to walk again. Soon after, however, Jennifer decided to voice her thoughts. “It is fine if you need to send me back to the US. I don't know if I would be able to survive, and I doubt I would be able to be fully human, but I understand if you don't want me and that I am not the only person whose needs matter.”
“I don't understand. If you are here seeking asylum, why would you be sent back?”
“The US will frequently deport many people, people from migrant waves, even if their lives would be in danger if they returned home.” Jennifer paused before continuing. “Besides, it isn't like that.” She continued, more distant and noticeably struggling to find the words. “Or, at least I don't think it is like that. It is just, well, everything is wrong. My morality, definition of freedom, needs, conceptions, even my sense of identity, … it feels like I am forced into this culture, told it is the best or only option. Like I am someone, and am told to be someone else.” Jennifer was crying by the end and was unable to continue.
“Do you want to go back to your bed?”
Unable to speak, Jennifer nodded in response.
13 March 2018
Initial Arrival 14
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan came back sometime after Jennifer was done eating. Still standing, he asked, “You wanted to go for a walk?”
“Yes.” Jennifer got up. “I have no idea where to go, where I am allowed to go, and I don't want to get in the way. It is probably best if you lead.”
“Wait, do you want me in front?”
“Huh? No, I think it is side by side, without physical contact. I think that is how people normally walk together, unless it is too narrow. You can go behind then, if this is necessary.”
They left the room and walked a bit down a corridor before Jennifer walked over to a window and stared outside.
“We can't go outside.”
Jennifer responded casually and somewhat distantly, turning only slightly to look at Ivan. “I am just watching the snow.”
“It does snow here in September. It is something which we learn to accept.”
When Jennifer continued to speak, she wasn't looking at him at all, and was instead distant and deep in thought. “When I was young I used to like to play in the snow. My brother and I used to build snow forts, trails, and hills for sledding. … I wanted to go to Alaska, with the snow and the wolves, but my parents always planned vacations somewhere warm.”
“Here you can't do that. It will get too cold and too dangerous to be outside for long.”
Jennifer turned to face Ivan when he spoke, but not looking at him when she responded. Her voice was still distant. “I almost froze to death.”
“Yes.”
“How did you even find us? … You knew he was there, didn't you? If I hadn't found him, I would have died in the forest.”
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan came back sometime after Jennifer was done eating. Still standing, he asked, “You wanted to go for a walk?”
“Yes.” Jennifer got up. “I have no idea where to go, where I am allowed to go, and I don't want to get in the way. It is probably best if you lead.”
“Wait, do you want me in front?”
“Huh? No, I think it is side by side, without physical contact. I think that is how people normally walk together, unless it is too narrow. You can go behind then, if this is necessary.”
They left the room and walked a bit down a corridor before Jennifer walked over to a window and stared outside.
“We can't go outside.”
Jennifer responded casually and somewhat distantly, turning only slightly to look at Ivan. “I am just watching the snow.”
“It does snow here in September. It is something which we learn to accept.”
When Jennifer continued to speak, she wasn't looking at him at all, and was instead distant and deep in thought. “When I was young I used to like to play in the snow. My brother and I used to build snow forts, trails, and hills for sledding. … I wanted to go to Alaska, with the snow and the wolves, but my parents always planned vacations somewhere warm.”
“Here you can't do that. It will get too cold and too dangerous to be outside for long.”
Jennifer turned to face Ivan when he spoke, but not looking at him when she responded. Her voice was still distant. “I almost froze to death.”
“Yes.”
“How did you even find us? … You knew he was there, didn't you? If I hadn't found him, I would have died in the forest.”
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