Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Later, after recovering some, Jennifer picked up a sheet of paper and a pencil and tried to record her thoughts. As she expected, she couldn't put any of her thoughts on paper, and instead drew random shapes on the page.
Her thoughts returned to her dream. She began to map this out, starting with simple shapes and notes, from the beginning. The goddess came to me in my childhood house and took me to the clearing. My imagination was taken out of some of my typical constrains.
She continued her thoughts to the clearing, focusing on the clearing in her dream. She told me to look, imagine and perceive the other planes of existence connected to our own at the clearing. The goddess then became three different people, each in their own alternative surroundings, different from but co-located with the clearing. She drew out and wrote out each of these encounters.
A story of an American woman who finds herself in the past in Siberia. Picture book format, currently updating twice a month. View the story posts in chronological order with the archive tab.
Showing posts with label Arrival1. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Arrival1. Show all posts
21 March 2018
17 March 2018
Initial Arrival 15
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan eventually decided to take the opportunity to directly address a concern. “It would be inadvisable to try to leave. If the guards don't stop you, you will probably freeze in the cold.”
The suggestion, however, shocked Jennifer, as this wasn't even a possibility she had considered. She turned around abruptly before responding, looking very confused. “Huh?”
“You aren't planning on running away?”
“What? Why would I run? I have nowhere to go. I don't speak the language, and even if I did, my accent would be obvious. Here there is food and shelter. … And, you haven't yet sent me to prison, or tried to physically restrain me, chemically restrain me, or harass me to get the information I want. You let me take my time to tell you what is appropriate. If I tried to escape, this would change and my situation would only get worse.”
“Chemically restrain?”
“Using drugs to make someone tired or submissive.”
They started to walk again. Soon after, however, Jennifer decided to voice her thoughts. “It is fine if you need to send me back to the US. I don't know if I would be able to survive, and I doubt I would be able to be fully human, but I understand if you don't want me and that I am not the only person whose needs matter.”
“I don't understand. If you are here seeking asylum, why would you be sent back?”
“The US will frequently deport many people, people from migrant waves, even if their lives would be in danger if they returned home.” Jennifer paused before continuing. “Besides, it isn't like that.” She continued, more distant and noticeably struggling to find the words. “Or, at least I don't think it is like that. It is just, well, everything is wrong. My morality, definition of freedom, needs, conceptions, even my sense of identity, … it feels like I am forced into this culture, told it is the best or only option. Like I am someone, and am told to be someone else.” Jennifer was crying by the end and was unable to continue.
“Do you want to go back to your bed?”
Unable to speak, Jennifer nodded in response.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan eventually decided to take the opportunity to directly address a concern. “It would be inadvisable to try to leave. If the guards don't stop you, you will probably freeze in the cold.”
The suggestion, however, shocked Jennifer, as this wasn't even a possibility she had considered. She turned around abruptly before responding, looking very confused. “Huh?”
“You aren't planning on running away?”
“What? Why would I run? I have nowhere to go. I don't speak the language, and even if I did, my accent would be obvious. Here there is food and shelter. … And, you haven't yet sent me to prison, or tried to physically restrain me, chemically restrain me, or harass me to get the information I want. You let me take my time to tell you what is appropriate. If I tried to escape, this would change and my situation would only get worse.”
“Chemically restrain?”
“Using drugs to make someone tired or submissive.”
They started to walk again. Soon after, however, Jennifer decided to voice her thoughts. “It is fine if you need to send me back to the US. I don't know if I would be able to survive, and I doubt I would be able to be fully human, but I understand if you don't want me and that I am not the only person whose needs matter.”
“I don't understand. If you are here seeking asylum, why would you be sent back?”
“The US will frequently deport many people, people from migrant waves, even if their lives would be in danger if they returned home.” Jennifer paused before continuing. “Besides, it isn't like that.” She continued, more distant and noticeably struggling to find the words. “Or, at least I don't think it is like that. It is just, well, everything is wrong. My morality, definition of freedom, needs, conceptions, even my sense of identity, … it feels like I am forced into this culture, told it is the best or only option. Like I am someone, and am told to be someone else.” Jennifer was crying by the end and was unable to continue.
“Do you want to go back to your bed?”
Unable to speak, Jennifer nodded in response.
13 March 2018
Initial Arrival 14
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan came back sometime after Jennifer was done eating. Still standing, he asked, “You wanted to go for a walk?”
“Yes.” Jennifer got up. “I have no idea where to go, where I am allowed to go, and I don't want to get in the way. It is probably best if you lead.”
“Wait, do you want me in front?”
“Huh? No, I think it is side by side, without physical contact. I think that is how people normally walk together, unless it is too narrow. You can go behind then, if this is necessary.”
They left the room and walked a bit down a corridor before Jennifer walked over to a window and stared outside.
“We can't go outside.”
Jennifer responded casually and somewhat distantly, turning only slightly to look at Ivan. “I am just watching the snow.”
“It does snow here in September. It is something which we learn to accept.”
When Jennifer continued to speak, she wasn't looking at him at all, and was instead distant and deep in thought. “When I was young I used to like to play in the snow. My brother and I used to build snow forts, trails, and hills for sledding. … I wanted to go to Alaska, with the snow and the wolves, but my parents always planned vacations somewhere warm.”
“Here you can't do that. It will get too cold and too dangerous to be outside for long.”
Jennifer turned to face Ivan when he spoke, but not looking at him when she responded. Her voice was still distant. “I almost froze to death.”
“Yes.”
“How did you even find us? … You knew he was there, didn't you? If I hadn't found him, I would have died in the forest.”
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan came back sometime after Jennifer was done eating. Still standing, he asked, “You wanted to go for a walk?”
“Yes.” Jennifer got up. “I have no idea where to go, where I am allowed to go, and I don't want to get in the way. It is probably best if you lead.”
“Wait, do you want me in front?”
“Huh? No, I think it is side by side, without physical contact. I think that is how people normally walk together, unless it is too narrow. You can go behind then, if this is necessary.”
They left the room and walked a bit down a corridor before Jennifer walked over to a window and stared outside.
“We can't go outside.”
Jennifer responded casually and somewhat distantly, turning only slightly to look at Ivan. “I am just watching the snow.”
“It does snow here in September. It is something which we learn to accept.”
When Jennifer continued to speak, she wasn't looking at him at all, and was instead distant and deep in thought. “When I was young I used to like to play in the snow. My brother and I used to build snow forts, trails, and hills for sledding. … I wanted to go to Alaska, with the snow and the wolves, but my parents always planned vacations somewhere warm.”
“Here you can't do that. It will get too cold and too dangerous to be outside for long.”
Jennifer turned to face Ivan when he spoke, but not looking at him when she responded. Her voice was still distant. “I almost froze to death.”
“Yes.”
“How did you even find us? … You knew he was there, didn't you? If I hadn't found him, I would have died in the forest.”
27 February 2018
Initial Arrival 13
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan returned when lunch was served. With him he brought the same Asian woman as he had the previous day, as well as a clipboard. The woman had a stethoscope around her neck and was holding a clipboard. She called over one of the nurses, who brought food and other equipment. The nurse put the food on the nightstand before retrieving the other equipment as Ivan directed Jennifer's attention to other topics.
Ivan was standing, holding the clipboard as he talked to Jennifer. “This is Tamara Ayaalovna. She is one of the doctors here.” He gestured, indicating that he was referring to the woman with the clipboard. “I need you to cooperate with her as she does a medical exam. We need to check your health, to make sure you have no infection. We have been delayed due to your poor mental state and your distrust in the translator. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” Ivan indicated to the doctor that Jennifer was ready, and she begun the examination, asking many questions and verbally guiding her through the process. Jennifer tried to cooperate, although it was very uncomfortable. The process didn't seem too unusual to Jennifer, besides the awkwardness of needing to use a translator, although it was clear that the technology was behind what she was accustomed to. Without any knowledge of the history of the technology, Jennifer couldn't tell by how much. At the end, Jennifer was told what symptoms she should alert the doctor to if she experiences.
After the doctor had finished, she and the nurse left Jennifer, and Ivan directed Jennifer's attention to what he was holding. “I brought you pens, pencils and paper as you asked.”
“Thanks.” Jennifer paused before she brought up something else which she felt she needed. “I would like to go for a walk.”
“You haven't yet recovered.”
“Yes, but unless there is too much strain on the body, exercise helps, especially for mental issues.”
“You are not to go outside.”
“I just need someone to take me around the building, in permitted areas, so that I can use my legs.”
Ivan walked to the doctor and talked with her before returning to Jennifer. “This will be permitted, but not for long. But you need to eat first, while your food is still hot. I will come to get you later.” Ivan left Jennifer alone to eat.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan returned when lunch was served. With him he brought the same Asian woman as he had the previous day, as well as a clipboard. The woman had a stethoscope around her neck and was holding a clipboard. She called over one of the nurses, who brought food and other equipment. The nurse put the food on the nightstand before retrieving the other equipment as Ivan directed Jennifer's attention to other topics.
Ivan was standing, holding the clipboard as he talked to Jennifer. “This is Tamara Ayaalovna. She is one of the doctors here.” He gestured, indicating that he was referring to the woman with the clipboard. “I need you to cooperate with her as she does a medical exam. We need to check your health, to make sure you have no infection. We have been delayed due to your poor mental state and your distrust in the translator. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” Ivan indicated to the doctor that Jennifer was ready, and she begun the examination, asking many questions and verbally guiding her through the process. Jennifer tried to cooperate, although it was very uncomfortable. The process didn't seem too unusual to Jennifer, besides the awkwardness of needing to use a translator, although it was clear that the technology was behind what she was accustomed to. Without any knowledge of the history of the technology, Jennifer couldn't tell by how much. At the end, Jennifer was told what symptoms she should alert the doctor to if she experiences.
After the doctor had finished, she and the nurse left Jennifer, and Ivan directed Jennifer's attention to what he was holding. “I brought you pens, pencils and paper as you asked.”
“Thanks.” Jennifer paused before she brought up something else which she felt she needed. “I would like to go for a walk.”
“You haven't yet recovered.”
“Yes, but unless there is too much strain on the body, exercise helps, especially for mental issues.”
“You are not to go outside.”
“I just need someone to take me around the building, in permitted areas, so that I can use my legs.”
Ivan walked to the doctor and talked with her before returning to Jennifer. “This will be permitted, but not for long. But you need to eat first, while your food is still hot. I will come to get you later.” Ivan left Jennifer alone to eat.
21 February 2018
Initial Arrival 12
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
That morning, one of the other patients walked up to Jennifer and tried to talk to her. Jennifer didn't understand what this woman was saying. She diverted her eyes from the woman and tried to ignore her. This didn't make the woman go away.
Jennifer's frustration with the situation continued to grow. She growled. More calmly, she eventually tried to talk. “I can't understand you. Will you please just leave?”
When this didn't work, she sighed and put her hands over her face. Some other patients came up to try to talk to this woman. The situation overwhelmed Jennifer, and she eventually started to cry again. Eventually, one of the nurses came and broke up the conversation, and pulled the curtain partially around her bed.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
That morning, one of the other patients walked up to Jennifer and tried to talk to her. Jennifer didn't understand what this woman was saying. She diverted her eyes from the woman and tried to ignore her. This didn't make the woman go away.
Jennifer's frustration with the situation continued to grow. She growled. More calmly, she eventually tried to talk. “I can't understand you. Will you please just leave?”
When this didn't work, she sighed and put her hands over her face. Some other patients came up to try to talk to this woman. The situation overwhelmed Jennifer, and she eventually started to cry again. Eventually, one of the nurses came and broke up the conversation, and pulled the curtain partially around her bed.
17 February 2018
Initial Arrival 11
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Shortly after the nurse had left, she returned with Ivan, who proceeded to approach Jennifer, bringing over a chair to sit down beside her. The nurse left them alone as she went to monitor the other patients.
Ivan begun the conversation. “What is it that you want?”
“I would like to have paper and pencils so that I can write and draw in order to organize my thoughts and to have something to do.”
“Are you going to write out what happened?”
“No, that won't work. Those thoughts would be too difficult to get out in this manner. I would like draw out my dreams.”
“How would this help to organize your thoughts? Dreams aren't real.”
“Dreams come from fragments of memories, constructed when the brain processes memories. And from them I can get an interesting story, providing a distraction and helping to prevent me from being overwhelmed. Besides, people often use fiction to understand fact.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“For instance, many games are constructed as some form of simulation to learn skills or make decisions. Fiction in writing and sometimes TV is often used to develop understandings of the society in which we live, even if it doesn't appear directly relevant. Myths and legends are used to develop a culture and the ethics of the culture. The supernatural provides a means for many to understand and appreciate human instinct and the complex processes which govern our world. These are a large part of how many experience the world.”
“Do you seriously believe in the supernatural? These are just stories told by primitive people who don't know any better.”
“Reality isn't so simple. Besides, if you were religious, you would be defensive, insisting the 'supernatural' can't be explained physically.”
“Are you religious or superstitious?”
“Neither, although this isn't really something I should discuss.”
“Fine. Will you show me your drawings?”
“I won't be able to stop you from seeing them.”
“Alright. I will get this for you.” Ivan got up and walked out of the room.
Later, while Jennifer was eating her breakfast, she reviewed the conversation in her mind. I still can't avoid saying too much. But he doesn't seem to be pushing too hard. … He is patient and wants accurate information. He knows that I am under his power and am not going anywhere. Everything he wants will come out eventually. He is the only one with whom I can communicate here. Every conversation must go through him and if I need to talk with someone it must be him. … Well, him or the man I met in the clearing. He spoke to me in English too.
She also realized that she still hadn't asked for the date. Well, he will be back. I can ask later.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Shortly after the nurse had left, she returned with Ivan, who proceeded to approach Jennifer, bringing over a chair to sit down beside her. The nurse left them alone as she went to monitor the other patients.
Ivan begun the conversation. “What is it that you want?”
“I would like to have paper and pencils so that I can write and draw in order to organize my thoughts and to have something to do.”
“Are you going to write out what happened?”
“No, that won't work. Those thoughts would be too difficult to get out in this manner. I would like draw out my dreams.”
“How would this help to organize your thoughts? Dreams aren't real.”
“Dreams come from fragments of memories, constructed when the brain processes memories. And from them I can get an interesting story, providing a distraction and helping to prevent me from being overwhelmed. Besides, people often use fiction to understand fact.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“For instance, many games are constructed as some form of simulation to learn skills or make decisions. Fiction in writing and sometimes TV is often used to develop understandings of the society in which we live, even if it doesn't appear directly relevant. Myths and legends are used to develop a culture and the ethics of the culture. The supernatural provides a means for many to understand and appreciate human instinct and the complex processes which govern our world. These are a large part of how many experience the world.”
“Do you seriously believe in the supernatural? These are just stories told by primitive people who don't know any better.”
“Reality isn't so simple. Besides, if you were religious, you would be defensive, insisting the 'supernatural' can't be explained physically.”
“Are you religious or superstitious?”
“Neither, although this isn't really something I should discuss.”
“Fine. Will you show me your drawings?”
“I won't be able to stop you from seeing them.”
“Alright. I will get this for you.” Ivan got up and walked out of the room.
Later, while Jennifer was eating her breakfast, she reviewed the conversation in her mind. I still can't avoid saying too much. But he doesn't seem to be pushing too hard. … He is patient and wants accurate information. He knows that I am under his power and am not going anywhere. Everything he wants will come out eventually. He is the only one with whom I can communicate here. Every conversation must go through him and if I need to talk with someone it must be him. … Well, him or the man I met in the clearing. He spoke to me in English too.
She also realized that she still hadn't asked for the date. Well, he will be back. I can ask later.
11 February 2018
Initial Arrival 10
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Some time after Jennifer had awoken, but still early in the day, a nurse came over with a tray of food. There was porridge, milk, and tea. As the nurse was placing the tray down, Jennifer tried to talk, but struggled to find the words.
Eventually she said something, just to indicate that she wanted to talk. “Umm …”
“Da?”
This isn't going to work. She tried to communicate anyway. She indicated what she wanted with gestures before speaking, showing the process of drawing by writing on one hand with the other. “May I get paper and pencils?”
The nurse looked confused. “Izvinite. Ya ne ponimayu. … Khotite, chto ya skhozhu za Ivanom?” She pointed towards the door as she talked.
Jennifer didn't understand and was uncertain about what to say or do. Frustrated, she started to cry again and gave up trying to communicate.
The nurse responded in a comforting voice, directing Jennifer's attention to the food in front of her. “Yesh'te. Ya skhozhu za Ivanom.” The nurse then left Jennifer alone. She went to another nurse and told her something before leaving through the door.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Some time after Jennifer had awoken, but still early in the day, a nurse came over with a tray of food. There was porridge, milk, and tea. As the nurse was placing the tray down, Jennifer tried to talk, but struggled to find the words.
Eventually she said something, just to indicate that she wanted to talk. “Umm …”
“Da?”
This isn't going to work. She tried to communicate anyway. She indicated what she wanted with gestures before speaking, showing the process of drawing by writing on one hand with the other. “May I get paper and pencils?”
The nurse looked confused. “Izvinite. Ya ne ponimayu. … Khotite, chto ya skhozhu za Ivanom?” She pointed towards the door as she talked.
Jennifer didn't understand and was uncertain about what to say or do. Frustrated, she started to cry again and gave up trying to communicate.
The nurse responded in a comforting voice, directing Jennifer's attention to the food in front of her. “Yesh'te. Ya skhozhu za Ivanom.” The nurse then left Jennifer alone. She went to another nurse and told her something before leaving through the door.
29 January 2018
Initial Arrival 9
Day 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
The next day, Jennifer woke up after dawn to see that her situation hadn't changed. She was less tired, but still scared. She didn't desire to wake up, but she also didn't want to drift back to sleep. She tried to focus her thoughts on her dream from the previous night, although her memory kept switching back to the events of the previous day.
The goddess, she told me, “You know this is wrong, yet you remain stuck. Let me show you a way out.” She took me to the clearing. The same one in which I was yesterday. The one which took me to the past.
I am still here? How am I still here? Am I actually awake? … If something traumatic happened, maybe my memories are messed up. I am interpreting this as the past. But look at the outfits of the nurses! This isn't what it should be, right?
The goddess told me the clearing was a portal to other places. It was connected, but being inobvious it didn't have a fixed connection. She told me if I looked correctly I could see other realms, other reflections in this place. There were three planes, each with its spirit, in which I found myself this way. Three goddesses, each which gave me a pendent. The same pendent.
I could go anywhere, imagine anything. So I walked through the clearing and found myself in the past, in the Soviet Union. I was actually in the past! This is exciting. Finally imagining things beyond my typical limits. … No, this is real. I am actually in the past. In an enemy state, with no identity, no friends or family. How can this be real?
I was lost, following my brother. We needed help. We heard voices in the distance, then gunshots. By the time I got to the clearing, my brother was gone. I think. I saw several people. Four, maybe. They left when they saw me. They may have shot at me when they were leaving. I think they were carrying someone. Someone not wearing a coat.
When they left I saw there were two people on the ground whom had been shot. One was dead, a woman, Asian probably. The other was injured, a man. I spoke to him. I was shaking. He had a strong accent. He said something which I didn't understand. I told him this. I told him I needed to stop the bleeding, and that I was lost. He told me there was a city about an hour away to the east. That I should take his coat and hat and leave him there. I didn't think I could make it. I asked him for something to stop the bleeding. He suggested his belt. I told him it would be better to take the woman's coat, so he would survive as well. He wasn't happy with this. I fell unconscious sometime after that.
I think there was a wolf in the clearing. … Was that the dream or the event? It must have been the dream.
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
The next day, Jennifer woke up after dawn to see that her situation hadn't changed. She was less tired, but still scared. She didn't desire to wake up, but she also didn't want to drift back to sleep. She tried to focus her thoughts on her dream from the previous night, although her memory kept switching back to the events of the previous day.
The goddess, she told me, “You know this is wrong, yet you remain stuck. Let me show you a way out.” She took me to the clearing. The same one in which I was yesterday. The one which took me to the past.
I am still here? How am I still here? Am I actually awake? … If something traumatic happened, maybe my memories are messed up. I am interpreting this as the past. But look at the outfits of the nurses! This isn't what it should be, right?
The goddess told me the clearing was a portal to other places. It was connected, but being inobvious it didn't have a fixed connection. She told me if I looked correctly I could see other realms, other reflections in this place. There were three planes, each with its spirit, in which I found myself this way. Three goddesses, each which gave me a pendent. The same pendent.
I could go anywhere, imagine anything. So I walked through the clearing and found myself in the past, in the Soviet Union. I was actually in the past! This is exciting. Finally imagining things beyond my typical limits. … No, this is real. I am actually in the past. In an enemy state, with no identity, no friends or family. How can this be real?
I was lost, following my brother. We needed help. We heard voices in the distance, then gunshots. By the time I got to the clearing, my brother was gone. I think. I saw several people. Four, maybe. They left when they saw me. They may have shot at me when they were leaving. I think they were carrying someone. Someone not wearing a coat.
When they left I saw there were two people on the ground whom had been shot. One was dead, a woman, Asian probably. The other was injured, a man. I spoke to him. I was shaking. He had a strong accent. He said something which I didn't understand. I told him this. I told him I needed to stop the bleeding, and that I was lost. He told me there was a city about an hour away to the east. That I should take his coat and hat and leave him there. I didn't think I could make it. I asked him for something to stop the bleeding. He suggested his belt. I told him it would be better to take the woman's coat, so he would survive as well. He wasn't happy with this. I fell unconscious sometime after that.
I think there was a wolf in the clearing. … Was that the dream or the event? It must have been the dream.
22 January 2018
Initial Arrival 8
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
With Ivan gone, Jennifer was left alone again. Well, not completely alone as the nurses and other patients were still there. But she didn't know these people. So she felt exposed. Exposed and alone. She no longer had anyone in her life on whom she could rely. Not even family, as they didn't exist yet. Or at least she didn't exist yet. I am nobody here, I have no legal identity, and they will punish me for this. They will punish me for things out of my control. Jennifer started to cry again. For being different. Because they don't understand. As people often do.
Time passed as she thought. In her state, she didn't know for how much time. She felt that she needed to do something. But she knew that in her state she couldn't. For now I have to let the doctors take care of me. Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe I will know more. Or maybe I will be back home.
Jennifer eventually got up. One of the nurses came over to her, indicating that she should go back to her bed. “Lezhite. Ya skhozhu za Ivanom.”
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
The nurse gave no indication that she understood. “Ya ne ponimayu. Podozhdite, ya skhozhu za Ivanom, chtoby on perevyol.”
Jennifer tried to explain again, trying to use her past knowledge as a guide as to what may work and gesturing by holding her crotch as she spoke. “Bathroom, … umm, toilet …”
The nurse seemed to recognize something as she pointed towards the door. “Tualet? Von tam.” She grabbed Jennifer's arm as she held her other hand gesturing towards the door. “Ya vam pokazhu.”
Jennifer froze upon the physical contact. The nurse seemed not to notice. When Jennifer didn't move with her, the nurse let go and continued the door. Jennifer followed. By the time Jennifer was on the toilet, she had started to cry again.
During this process and after coming back to her bed, her thought process continued.
All my reference points are wrong now. Many sayings and terms no longer apply. Well, even the customs and language are different. But people will understand I come from somewhere else. References to history or technology, on the other hand, this would be problematic. I don't know if I can avoid this. How would I explain it?
And how will I be able to deal with life without technology? I guess I have been in many such situations. Especially when camping. And there is still technology here. I will learn how not to be dependent on such things.
More problematic is how women are expected to be domestic servants. And sexual objects. … They won't force this on me. I will no longer be told to be someone I am not. I won't accept being treated as if I don't matter. … I can't fight. The past is set. I can't change things, make things better. At least not on a global scale. Not that I ever knew how. I needed people with whom to work. But now there is no longer any possibility of being a part of the revolution. Things can't get better than what I know.
I have to work on the local scale. I have to be like others? Jennifer was extremely bothered by this thought. Act as if only I matter, only my part of the world matters? But this is the problem which needs to be fixed. No one is free unless everyone is free. And I am not like everyone else. I don't want to be. But people think those who are different don't matter. … But, maybe, I could still help people here. Learn what I need to so that I may fight later. If I have others to teach me and help me.
It started to get dark outside before the nurse came with food again. The composition of the meal was similar, although the soup was different. Jennifer ate what she could.
Eventually the lights were turned off and the windows covered. Jennifer covered her head with her blanket in order to try to block out the remaining light and her surroundings. Eventually, she let herself slowly drift to sleep, despite the situation. Perhaps this is all a dream, and tomorrow I will be home.
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
With Ivan gone, Jennifer was left alone again. Well, not completely alone as the nurses and other patients were still there. But she didn't know these people. So she felt exposed. Exposed and alone. She no longer had anyone in her life on whom she could rely. Not even family, as they didn't exist yet. Or at least she didn't exist yet. I am nobody here, I have no legal identity, and they will punish me for this. They will punish me for things out of my control. Jennifer started to cry again. For being different. Because they don't understand. As people often do.
Time passed as she thought. In her state, she didn't know for how much time. She felt that she needed to do something. But she knew that in her state she couldn't. For now I have to let the doctors take care of me. Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe I will know more. Or maybe I will be back home.
Jennifer eventually got up. One of the nurses came over to her, indicating that she should go back to her bed. “Lezhite. Ya skhozhu za Ivanom.”
“I need to go to the bathroom.”
The nurse gave no indication that she understood. “Ya ne ponimayu. Podozhdite, ya skhozhu za Ivanom, chtoby on perevyol.”
Jennifer tried to explain again, trying to use her past knowledge as a guide as to what may work and gesturing by holding her crotch as she spoke. “Bathroom, … umm, toilet …”
The nurse seemed to recognize something as she pointed towards the door. “Tualet? Von tam.” She grabbed Jennifer's arm as she held her other hand gesturing towards the door. “Ya vam pokazhu.”
Jennifer froze upon the physical contact. The nurse seemed not to notice. When Jennifer didn't move with her, the nurse let go and continued the door. Jennifer followed. By the time Jennifer was on the toilet, she had started to cry again.
During this process and after coming back to her bed, her thought process continued.
All my reference points are wrong now. Many sayings and terms no longer apply. Well, even the customs and language are different. But people will understand I come from somewhere else. References to history or technology, on the other hand, this would be problematic. I don't know if I can avoid this. How would I explain it?
And how will I be able to deal with life without technology? I guess I have been in many such situations. Especially when camping. And there is still technology here. I will learn how not to be dependent on such things.
More problematic is how women are expected to be domestic servants. And sexual objects. … They won't force this on me. I will no longer be told to be someone I am not. I won't accept being treated as if I don't matter. … I can't fight. The past is set. I can't change things, make things better. At least not on a global scale. Not that I ever knew how. I needed people with whom to work. But now there is no longer any possibility of being a part of the revolution. Things can't get better than what I know.
I have to work on the local scale. I have to be like others? Jennifer was extremely bothered by this thought. Act as if only I matter, only my part of the world matters? But this is the problem which needs to be fixed. No one is free unless everyone is free. And I am not like everyone else. I don't want to be. But people think those who are different don't matter. … But, maybe, I could still help people here. Learn what I need to so that I may fight later. If I have others to teach me and help me.
It started to get dark outside before the nurse came with food again. The composition of the meal was similar, although the soup was different. Jennifer ate what she could.
Eventually the lights were turned off and the windows covered. Jennifer covered her head with her blanket in order to try to block out the remaining light and her surroundings. Eventually, she let herself slowly drift to sleep, despite the situation. Perhaps this is all a dream, and tomorrow I will be home.
15 January 2018
Initial Arrival 7
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Jennifer put down the cup and turned her attention to the soup. “What is this?”
“Schi.” Jennifer didn't recognize the word. Ivan seemed to notice, so he explained, “Cabbage soup.”
Jennifer still didn't trust the food. She wasn't in the mood for trying new things. “What is in it?” But she knew this wouldn't give her the information she wanted, so she continued, “What spices, seasonings, herbs do you use?”
“I don't understand. It is just soup. It isn't spicy. We don't have many seasonings. I am sorry it isn't what you are accustomed to, but there isn't other food.” Ivan paused, then continued with, “Can you please try it before assuming you don't like it?”
Jen took a spoonful. She tried to avoid the leaves as she took out the other solid chunks. “This tastes ok.” She continued to eat.
Ivan was watching what she was doing and responded to this, “Do you not like cabbage?”
Jennifer stopped eating to talk to him. She turned to look at him before responding, “I don't know. I always find leaves awkward to eat. And lettuce seems like a filler in salads.”
“Cabbage isn't lettuce!” Ivan paused slightly and changed his tone again. “You should try to eat it, food isn't cheap here, we don't want to waste any.”
Jennifer wasn't happy with this comment. This isn't the first time she has had people unhappy about the way she eats. I guess he doesn't know this. He just assumes this is the same thing typical of Americans. Or of people who come from other cultures in general. Jennifer began to cry again. Seriously, why do people think they scold people until they somehow act like they want? Why can't people realize that others … have other needs I guess?
Ivan began to talk to the woman with him. Jennifer didn't understand what they were talking about. She did notice however. She was very uncomfortable with the situation. This made it more difficult for her to speak. Her thoughts were focused on this discomfort, afraid they would scold her again. And on her sense of isolation.
Ivan eventually turned to face her. “If you want, if you don't think you can continue, we can finish this conversation later.”
Jennifer looked up at him, but was still crying and couldn't speak. She eventually nodded slightly, figuring that it would be a while before she could converse again.
“When you are done eating, you can leave your dishes here.” He points to the nightstand. “If you need anything, I will be in the building, and you can ask for me. The nurses won't understand, but they will know to get me, so I can translate.” Then, to the woman he said, “Poydyom.” Both individuals walked out of the room.
Jennifer eventually stopped crying and started to eat again. Why can't my mother make things like this? Why does she insist on covering everything in tomato sauce, or soy sauce, or whatever spice concoction she decides to use? … I guess this is just soup. They probably have their own way of ruining food.
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Jennifer put down the cup and turned her attention to the soup. “What is this?”
“Schi.” Jennifer didn't recognize the word. Ivan seemed to notice, so he explained, “Cabbage soup.”
Jennifer still didn't trust the food. She wasn't in the mood for trying new things. “What is in it?” But she knew this wouldn't give her the information she wanted, so she continued, “What spices, seasonings, herbs do you use?”
“I don't understand. It is just soup. It isn't spicy. We don't have many seasonings. I am sorry it isn't what you are accustomed to, but there isn't other food.” Ivan paused, then continued with, “Can you please try it before assuming you don't like it?”
Jen took a spoonful. She tried to avoid the leaves as she took out the other solid chunks. “This tastes ok.” She continued to eat.
Ivan was watching what she was doing and responded to this, “Do you not like cabbage?”
Jennifer stopped eating to talk to him. She turned to look at him before responding, “I don't know. I always find leaves awkward to eat. And lettuce seems like a filler in salads.”
“Cabbage isn't lettuce!” Ivan paused slightly and changed his tone again. “You should try to eat it, food isn't cheap here, we don't want to waste any.”
Jennifer wasn't happy with this comment. This isn't the first time she has had people unhappy about the way she eats. I guess he doesn't know this. He just assumes this is the same thing typical of Americans. Or of people who come from other cultures in general. Jennifer began to cry again. Seriously, why do people think they scold people until they somehow act like they want? Why can't people realize that others … have other needs I guess?
Ivan began to talk to the woman with him. Jennifer didn't understand what they were talking about. She did notice however. She was very uncomfortable with the situation. This made it more difficult for her to speak. Her thoughts were focused on this discomfort, afraid they would scold her again. And on her sense of isolation.
Ivan eventually turned to face her. “If you want, if you don't think you can continue, we can finish this conversation later.”
Jennifer looked up at him, but was still crying and couldn't speak. She eventually nodded slightly, figuring that it would be a while before she could converse again.
“When you are done eating, you can leave your dishes here.” He points to the nightstand. “If you need anything, I will be in the building, and you can ask for me. The nurses won't understand, but they will know to get me, so I can translate.” Then, to the woman he said, “Poydyom.” Both individuals walked out of the room.
Jennifer eventually stopped crying and started to eat again. Why can't my mother make things like this? Why does she insist on covering everything in tomato sauce, or soy sauce, or whatever spice concoction she decides to use? … I guess this is just soup. They probably have their own way of ruining food.
07 January 2018
Initial Arrival 6
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan returned eventually with a woman. The woman looked Asian and was dressed as a doctor. Or a nurse. Maybe. Jennifer was guessing based on the circumstance. They brought food on a tray and put it in front of her. There was a glass with some sort of fruit juice, a bowl of soup, and some bread. Jennifer just stared at it.
Ivan spoke to try to fix this, “You need to eat to regain your strength.”
She knew that. She wasn't hungry. She felt more beyond that, as if her body had given up on trying to get food. But that isn't why she was hesitant. She didn't know what was in front of her and if she would like it.
She picked up the glass first and looked in it. “You put fruit in your fruit juice?”
“It is a compote.” Ivan paused for a bit before continuing, “It preserves the fruit.”
“Oh. Like mandarin oranges.”
“I don't understand. Isn't that a particular type of fruit.”
“It is, but I have always had it canned. It comes in fruit juice or syrup. We open the can, drain the juice, then eat the fruit with a fork.”
“Here we drink the juice.”
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan returned eventually with a woman. The woman looked Asian and was dressed as a doctor. Or a nurse. Maybe. Jennifer was guessing based on the circumstance. They brought food on a tray and put it in front of her. There was a glass with some sort of fruit juice, a bowl of soup, and some bread. Jennifer just stared at it.
Ivan spoke to try to fix this, “You need to eat to regain your strength.”
She knew that. She wasn't hungry. She felt more beyond that, as if her body had given up on trying to get food. But that isn't why she was hesitant. She didn't know what was in front of her and if she would like it.
She picked up the glass first and looked in it. “You put fruit in your fruit juice?”
“It is a compote.” Ivan paused for a bit before continuing, “It preserves the fruit.”
“Oh. Like mandarin oranges.”
“I don't understand. Isn't that a particular type of fruit.”
“It is, but I have always had it canned. It comes in fruit juice or syrup. We open the can, drain the juice, then eat the fruit with a fork.”
“Here we drink the juice.”
01 January 2018
Initial Arrival 5
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
How did I even get here? What happened? Her memory of the events still felt surreal. She remembered what happened before ending up in the clearing. Joshua was driving them to the airport. They were lost. Joshua knows the way. Getting lost like that due to geography changes, it's like a dream. Maybe there was an accident and everything else is false. Or I am still sleeping and anticipating tomorrow. But this didn't feel like a dream to her. It was wrong, but too real.
She continued to recall what had happened next. She had gotten out of the car to look for help. Her brother had as well. I don't see Nicholas or Joshua here. What happened to them? They had walked into the forest. Everything felt surreal at that point. There were voices in the distance. They went towards the voices. It was cold and it was snowing. It had turned cold fast. Jennifer hesitated, thought about turning back to get her coat. She had gotten very tired suddenly. She had slowed and Nicholas had gotten ahead, out of sight in the snow. She was so tired, but pressed on, panicking after loosing sight of her brother, being left alone in the cold.
She couldn't recall seeing either Joshua or Nicholas after that.
She did remember hearing gunshots in the distance, where she heard voices before. She ran there, to a clearing where she came to a man on the ground. He had been shot, injured. There was nobody else there. They talked. Argued some, maybe. She wanted to help, but she was so tired she collapsed and eventually lost consciousness.
She remembered something else. Something insignificant at the time. The trees changed color. They were green as it was summer, but when it got cold and the snow started, they were yellow as if it were autumn. … Pine trees maybe, yellow pine trees covered in snow. … But pine trees don't change color. And they aren't usually that common. … I am just imagining things, misremembering things.
It is like I stepped through a wormhole. But there wasn't an in-between. I was there, then I was here, a different place and time. Differences which would be subtle in transition are obvious right next to each other. … And it sapped my strength. As soon as I stepped through I was tired and disoriented.
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
How did I even get here? What happened? Her memory of the events still felt surreal. She remembered what happened before ending up in the clearing. Joshua was driving them to the airport. They were lost. Joshua knows the way. Getting lost like that due to geography changes, it's like a dream. Maybe there was an accident and everything else is false. Or I am still sleeping and anticipating tomorrow. But this didn't feel like a dream to her. It was wrong, but too real.
She continued to recall what had happened next. She had gotten out of the car to look for help. Her brother had as well. I don't see Nicholas or Joshua here. What happened to them? They had walked into the forest. Everything felt surreal at that point. There were voices in the distance. They went towards the voices. It was cold and it was snowing. It had turned cold fast. Jennifer hesitated, thought about turning back to get her coat. She had gotten very tired suddenly. She had slowed and Nicholas had gotten ahead, out of sight in the snow. She was so tired, but pressed on, panicking after loosing sight of her brother, being left alone in the cold.
She couldn't recall seeing either Joshua or Nicholas after that.
She did remember hearing gunshots in the distance, where she heard voices before. She ran there, to a clearing where she came to a man on the ground. He had been shot, injured. There was nobody else there. They talked. Argued some, maybe. She wanted to help, but she was so tired she collapsed and eventually lost consciousness.
She remembered something else. Something insignificant at the time. The trees changed color. They were green as it was summer, but when it got cold and the snow started, they were yellow as if it were autumn. … Pine trees maybe, yellow pine trees covered in snow. … But pine trees don't change color. And they aren't usually that common. … I am just imagining things, misremembering things.
It is like I stepped through a wormhole. But there wasn't an in-between. I was there, then I was here, a different place and time. Differences which would be subtle in transition are obvious right next to each other. … And it sapped my strength. As soon as I stepped through I was tired and disoriented.
19 December 2017
Initial Arrival 4
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan left, leaving Jennifer alone, giving her the opportunity to examine her environment and to think about her situation. Jennifer took the opportunity to look around.
The room was long and rectangular, with beds lining both of the long sides. Between each bed there was nightstand type table. There were larger tables with chairs between the two rows of beds. Both of the long sides had windows behind and above the beds. One of the shorter ends has windows as well. The ceiling had plenty of lights hanging down. Many of the beds were occupied and a few nurses were moving in, out, and around.
Jennifer didn't know what to make of it. The room didn't seem like what she expected from a modern hospital. He did say this is Soviet, which would imply the past. … Is this what hospitals used to be like?
I can't be in the past. How would I have gotten to the past? Maybe he is mistaken, using the older name. But this didn't make sense to her. Why would he use the old name? He didn't talk as if he were using an old name. He stated that we are in the Soviet Union. Well, he explicitly used the term Soviet. Soviet Russia. And the only way for that to be the case is if he doesn't know what happened in at least the past 20 years. A government agent would know what is the current government for which he works. Unless this is the past. … Or an alternate reality. Or this isn't real. Jennifer contemplated the possibilities.
What are the other possibilities? This could be a dream or a conspiracy. Jennifer tried to figure out if anyone she knew would want to create this environment as a joke. This doesn't feel like a dream. But Jennifer knew that was the most likely situation. If someone were to create this environment and put her in it, it would feel real, it would be more accurate, but nobody would do this. A pseudo-reality or alternate dimension? Is that simpler or more complex than time travel? … I guess I will need to know the date. Why didn't I ask for the date?
Jennifer was crying again by this time. She felt weak, tired, sore, scared and overwhelmed. I am far from home and don't have access to people who can help me, whom I know. And I don't have a way back. … These people, they see me and they see an American. They don't see me! Nobody ever does. They put people into these boxes, categories, and … and don't understand. They don't understand complexity. … And everyone is supposed to want to be American, but I don't. She could feel the fear in her abdomen, and she felt cold. She picked up her hand and watched it shake. I am not doing well.
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Ivan left, leaving Jennifer alone, giving her the opportunity to examine her environment and to think about her situation. Jennifer took the opportunity to look around.
The room was long and rectangular, with beds lining both of the long sides. Between each bed there was nightstand type table. There were larger tables with chairs between the two rows of beds. Both of the long sides had windows behind and above the beds. One of the shorter ends has windows as well. The ceiling had plenty of lights hanging down. Many of the beds were occupied and a few nurses were moving in, out, and around.
Jennifer didn't know what to make of it. The room didn't seem like what she expected from a modern hospital. He did say this is Soviet, which would imply the past. … Is this what hospitals used to be like?
I can't be in the past. How would I have gotten to the past? Maybe he is mistaken, using the older name. But this didn't make sense to her. Why would he use the old name? He didn't talk as if he were using an old name. He stated that we are in the Soviet Union. Well, he explicitly used the term Soviet. Soviet Russia. And the only way for that to be the case is if he doesn't know what happened in at least the past 20 years. A government agent would know what is the current government for which he works. Unless this is the past. … Or an alternate reality. Or this isn't real. Jennifer contemplated the possibilities.
What are the other possibilities? This could be a dream or a conspiracy. Jennifer tried to figure out if anyone she knew would want to create this environment as a joke. This doesn't feel like a dream. But Jennifer knew that was the most likely situation. If someone were to create this environment and put her in it, it would feel real, it would be more accurate, but nobody would do this. A pseudo-reality or alternate dimension? Is that simpler or more complex than time travel? … I guess I will need to know the date. Why didn't I ask for the date?
Jennifer was crying again by this time. She felt weak, tired, sore, scared and overwhelmed. I am far from home and don't have access to people who can help me, whom I know. And I don't have a way back. … These people, they see me and they see an American. They don't see me! Nobody ever does. They put people into these boxes, categories, and … and don't understand. They don't understand complexity. … And everyone is supposed to want to be American, but I don't. She could feel the fear in her abdomen, and she felt cold. She picked up her hand and watched it shake. I am not doing well.
06 December 2017
Initial Arrival 3
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
As he started to leave, however, several issues occurred to Jennifer. “Wait.” Her voice was still soft and weak. He turned back around. She was nervous. She didn't know what to say. This was a bad idea. She turned away from him, closing her eyes and focusing inward as she tried to talk, tried to find the words to explain what she wanted. Or at least to say something, to not feel alone in a hostile world.
“Is there something that you want?”
She struggled to speak and started to cry. She spoke, slowly, trying to grasp the words. “What is going to happen to me? I don't have anywhere to go. I know in the US, and it isn't unique there, that people in the country without permission, if caught, well, the detention centers are really bad. I don't want to go to prison; it does bad things to people and the culture is destructive. And I don't want to go back to the US.”
She paused, thinking, but not looking at Ivan. Her final thought wasn't based on his reaction to what she said. “I promise I won't speak out against your government.” She figured Ivan would know exactly what she meant, although wouldn't know the real reason she would be willing to make such a promise. Unless, of course, he is naive.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“What happened, it felt like a dream. I don't trust the accuracy of my memory. I need time to process.”
“Alright. For now you should remain here. You aren't yet fully recovered. We will determine what will happen by then. I still expect you to tell me what you remember, but we can wait a couple of days for your memory to recover. For now, you should rest. Later, we can have you talk to the man whose life you saved. Do you know our language?”
“No.”
“You will need to learn it. We can deal with that later.”
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
As he started to leave, however, several issues occurred to Jennifer. “Wait.” Her voice was still soft and weak. He turned back around. She was nervous. She didn't know what to say. This was a bad idea. She turned away from him, closing her eyes and focusing inward as she tried to talk, tried to find the words to explain what she wanted. Or at least to say something, to not feel alone in a hostile world.
“Is there something that you want?”
She struggled to speak and started to cry. She spoke, slowly, trying to grasp the words. “What is going to happen to me? I don't have anywhere to go. I know in the US, and it isn't unique there, that people in the country without permission, if caught, well, the detention centers are really bad. I don't want to go to prison; it does bad things to people and the culture is destructive. And I don't want to go back to the US.”
She paused, thinking, but not looking at Ivan. Her final thought wasn't based on his reaction to what she said. “I promise I won't speak out against your government.” She figured Ivan would know exactly what she meant, although wouldn't know the real reason she would be willing to make such a promise. Unless, of course, he is naive.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“What happened, it felt like a dream. I don't trust the accuracy of my memory. I need time to process.”
“Alright. For now you should remain here. You aren't yet fully recovered. We will determine what will happen by then. I still expect you to tell me what you remember, but we can wait a couple of days for your memory to recover. For now, you should rest. Later, we can have you talk to the man whose life you saved. Do you know our language?”
“No.”
“You will need to learn it. We can deal with that later.”
21 August 2017
Initial Arrival 2
Date Unknown
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Jennifer reacted upon hearing her current location, but didn't respond. She was thinking about what he told her. Something which became obvious with what he said. She couldn't really believe it. Soviet … Am I in the past? How is this possible. She didn't know if to believe it. I could ask for the date. But she didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say.
When Jennifer didn't respond, Ivan continued by asking, “Do you remember coming to this nation?”
Jennifer shook her head slightly, more to brush off the question then to reply, and didn't speak. She couldn't figure out what to do with this. Her brain was working quickly, panicking. She could feel the sense of panic throughout her body. Her arm was shaking as she struggled to hold herself up. What can I even say safely?
Ivan noticed Jennifer's reaction, asked another question. “Jennifer Miller, will you please tell me what you do remember?”
Jennifer was still trying to process everything. She wanted to be left alone. She did, however, remember what she was supposed to say. But, if I am in the past, I am stateless. So, she responded, “I can't continue without a lawyer.”
“What do you need a lawyer for? You aren't on trial. I am not here to arrest you. You saved a man's life! I need your help as a witness.”
Of course he would say something silly. Jennifer didn't respond. If he didn't understand, she didn't know how to explain it to him.
“You are a hero! You risked your life to save another.”
Jennifer started to cry. I am not a hero. I can't be a hero. He was there. I was supposed to get help. Everything else was missing. I didn't know where I was, that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. I didn't know what to do. I never know what to do.
“Everything will be alright. I can help you. I just need you to talk to me.”
Jennifer continued to cry and didn't respond. She had fallen back to her bed by this point. After a while, Ivan got up to leave.
Yakutsk, Siberia, USSR
Jennifer reacted upon hearing her current location, but didn't respond. She was thinking about what he told her. Something which became obvious with what he said. She couldn't really believe it. Soviet … Am I in the past? How is this possible. She didn't know if to believe it. I could ask for the date. But she didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say.
When Jennifer didn't respond, Ivan continued by asking, “Do you remember coming to this nation?”
Jennifer shook her head slightly, more to brush off the question then to reply, and didn't speak. She couldn't figure out what to do with this. Her brain was working quickly, panicking. She could feel the sense of panic throughout her body. Her arm was shaking as she struggled to hold herself up. What can I even say safely?
Ivan noticed Jennifer's reaction, asked another question. “Jennifer Miller, will you please tell me what you do remember?”
Jennifer was still trying to process everything. She wanted to be left alone. She did, however, remember what she was supposed to say. But, if I am in the past, I am stateless. So, she responded, “I can't continue without a lawyer.”
“What do you need a lawyer for? You aren't on trial. I am not here to arrest you. You saved a man's life! I need your help as a witness.”
Of course he would say something silly. Jennifer didn't respond. If he didn't understand, she didn't know how to explain it to him.
“You are a hero! You risked your life to save another.”
Jennifer started to cry. I am not a hero. I can't be a hero. He was there. I was supposed to get help. Everything else was missing. I didn't know where I was, that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. I didn't know what to do. I never know what to do.
“Everything will be alright. I can help you. I just need you to talk to me.”
Jennifer continued to cry and didn't respond. She had fallen back to her bed by this point. After a while, Ivan got up to leave.
19 July 2017
Initial Arrival 1
Date and Location Unknown
Jennifer woke up in an unfamiliar setting, trying to recall, put together what happened, where she was, trying to transition to being awake. As she opened her eyes, she saw over her a man dressed in a suit. She didn't quite know if she was awake yet.
The man spoke to her. “Hello, Mrs. Miller, how are you feeling?” His accent was foreign but familiar, although she couldn't identify it, or at least didn't want to. She noticed, but it didn't mean that much to her. In her fatigued state, such things didn't seem important.
Jennifer picked her body up to get a look around. And to not feel like someone was hovering over her. Her body was sore and weak, and she was cold. All this confirmed to her that she was awake. As she picked herself up, she ensured that the blanket over her was wrapped around her. But her mind wasn't focused on this. She was annoyed about what he had said. Why do people insist on using the wrong name?
Jennifer replied softly and nervously, “I prefer to be called Jennifer.” This wasn't a typical insistence for her, and she regretted it as soon as she did it. Usually she could deal with the insistence of formality when it was appropriate. But today it bothered her more than normal. The need to answer caused her to act on this. Now she needed to try to fix this. “I am sorry. You may use my formal name if you need. The appropriate title is 'Ms.' though. I am not married, but 'Miss' is childish, disrespectful. 'Ms.' is safe.”
However, the reaction to this wasn't as she expected. “I am unfamiliar with that convention. However, we can still be formal using given names, if you want. In our culture we use our first name and father's name in formal situations. I am Ivan Savvich. I have been assigned to work with you.”
As she responded, Jennifer closed her eyes in thought, “In your culture?” She then turned back to face him, still speaking softly, “Where am I? What happened?”
“You don't remember? You are in a hospital in Yakutsk. We found you unconscious in the forest. The other individual with whom we found you claims your appearance scared away his attackers and you saved his life. I was hoping you can tell me how and why you came here, and what you remember happening.”
As he spoke, Jennifer's mind returned to what had happened before she was here. She closed her eyes as she recalled. She remembered snow, trees, a man. He was injured, shot. They talked. Her memory seemed off. Maybe it feels surreal because of the snow. Snow in June? Something is off.
Jennifer responded, “I don't recognize that name. Where is this city?” She opened her eyes as she talked. Another thing occurred to her. He has been assigned to work with me, asking about past events. But he had already started to respond to her other question. Is this guy some sort of police officer? I need to be careful.
“Yakutsk is the capital of the Yakut Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic.” He paused, watching her reaction before continuing, “In the far east of the Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic.”
Jennifer woke up in an unfamiliar setting, trying to recall, put together what happened, where she was, trying to transition to being awake. As she opened her eyes, she saw over her a man dressed in a suit. She didn't quite know if she was awake yet.
The man spoke to her. “Hello, Mrs. Miller, how are you feeling?” His accent was foreign but familiar, although she couldn't identify it, or at least didn't want to. She noticed, but it didn't mean that much to her. In her fatigued state, such things didn't seem important.
Jennifer picked her body up to get a look around. And to not feel like someone was hovering over her. Her body was sore and weak, and she was cold. All this confirmed to her that she was awake. As she picked herself up, she ensured that the blanket over her was wrapped around her. But her mind wasn't focused on this. She was annoyed about what he had said. Why do people insist on using the wrong name?
Jennifer replied softly and nervously, “I prefer to be called Jennifer.” This wasn't a typical insistence for her, and she regretted it as soon as she did it. Usually she could deal with the insistence of formality when it was appropriate. But today it bothered her more than normal. The need to answer caused her to act on this. Now she needed to try to fix this. “I am sorry. You may use my formal name if you need. The appropriate title is 'Ms.' though. I am not married, but 'Miss' is childish, disrespectful. 'Ms.' is safe.”
However, the reaction to this wasn't as she expected. “I am unfamiliar with that convention. However, we can still be formal using given names, if you want. In our culture we use our first name and father's name in formal situations. I am Ivan Savvich. I have been assigned to work with you.”
As she responded, Jennifer closed her eyes in thought, “In your culture?” She then turned back to face him, still speaking softly, “Where am I? What happened?”
“You don't remember? You are in a hospital in Yakutsk. We found you unconscious in the forest. The other individual with whom we found you claims your appearance scared away his attackers and you saved his life. I was hoping you can tell me how and why you came here, and what you remember happening.”
As he spoke, Jennifer's mind returned to what had happened before she was here. She closed her eyes as she recalled. She remembered snow, trees, a man. He was injured, shot. They talked. Her memory seemed off. Maybe it feels surreal because of the snow. Snow in June? Something is off.
Jennifer responded, “I don't recognize that name. Where is this city?” She opened her eyes as she talked. Another thing occurred to her. He has been assigned to work with me, asking about past events. But he had already started to respond to her other question. Is this guy some sort of police officer? I need to be careful.
“Yakutsk is the capital of the Yakut Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic.” He paused, watching her reaction before continuing, “In the far east of the Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic.”
02 July 2017
Chapter 1, Subchapter 1: Awakening in the Past, Initial Arrival - Notes
The first part of this chapter is written and edited, although the images still need to be made. It will be 32 updates. I will hopefully start posting the story starting in the middle of July.
Most of the conventions are the same as the prologue. However, I will not color the dialog in this chapter. I will try to keep the acknowledgement section at least somewhat updated.
In addition, images which come from memory or dreams will be a different hand-drawn sketch style. This will hopefully make drawing the images faster, and will emphasize the imprecision of the situation.
Some updates will have no images, and shorter updates, especially those without images, may be posted between my typical twice monthly updates, slightly increasing the update frequency.
Edit - 6 Dec 17:
Due to the fact that I have been having trouble finding time and getting myself to draw picture, as well as the fact that most of this is dialog, I have chosen that for this chapter, most of it will be without images. The hand-drawn images for the dreams and memories will be included, as well as possibly a few others of significance.
Most of the conventions are the same as the prologue. However, I will not color the dialog in this chapter. I will try to keep the acknowledgement section at least somewhat updated.
In addition, images which come from memory or dreams will be a different hand-drawn sketch style. This will hopefully make drawing the images faster, and will emphasize the imprecision of the situation.
Some updates will have no images, and shorter updates, especially those without images, may be posted between my typical twice monthly updates, slightly increasing the update frequency.
Edit - 6 Dec 17:
Due to the fact that I have been having trouble finding time and getting myself to draw picture, as well as the fact that most of this is dialog, I have chosen that for this chapter, most of it will be without images. The hand-drawn images for the dreams and memories will be included, as well as possibly a few others of significance.
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